The
Virtual
Realm

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Famous Last Words

 

‘Well, it’s definitely not dinner,’ said Sheila the Thief.

‘It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen,’ added Hank.

‘It’s like nothing anyone one has ever seen!’ sneered Eric the Cavalier. ‘It’s a metal fish with no fins! Way to go, Presto!’

Presto the Magician scowled, hoping the others would leave it at that, but Eric wasn’t going to give up. They had been stuck in the one place for a few days, with no help from their Guide, and the Cavalier was looking for someone to take his frustration out on. ‘It’s certainly not what I wanted! Well done! Another remarkable failure!’

‘Don’t worry, Presto,’ said Sheila, interrupting Eric quickly. ‘Try again!’

‘He’s been trying since sunrise,’ replied the Cavalier. ‘Two hours ago! I’m bored. I’m hungry!’

‘You’re certainly bor-ing!’ said Diana, pulling a face. ‘Give it a rest!’

‘But whaddya think it is?’ said Bobby, leaning closer to the sleek, silvery cylinder and tapping poking it with one finger. ‘It looks kinda weird.’

‘No weirder than the rest of that junk!’ muttered Eric, with a wave. ‘I mean, what kind of dorky-Hat thinks that a packet of crayons is of any nutritional value? Or that rubber chicken? Or that cue ball? Or the “Little Book of Calm”.’ He had been marking them off on his fingers as he spoke, with a sarcastic sneer on his face. ‘That Hat’s useless!’

‘Yeah, Er-ic,’ drawled Bobby, ‘but what is it?’

‘How the Hell should I know!’

Presto could see that Diana had been waiting for this chance, as she immediately said:

‘But I thought you knew everything, Eric!’

‘Well…’

‘You were just saying yesterday that you knew all about lots of things, lots of things that we didn’t! You must know something about this!’

Presto saw the flicker of fear cross the Cavalier’s face at the thought of showing himself up. The Magician couldn’t help smiling, as Eric had walked straight into this one!

‘Well, obviously I know stuff about… um… things, but you can’t expect a guy to know everything! Who do you think I am, Dungeonmaster?’

Diana opened her mouth to reply, but she was cut off before she got her chance for a witty put-down.

‘It’s got a little panel on the side!’ said Sheila, unexpectedly interrupting the brewing argument; just as it was getting interesting.

‘We should open it!’ said Bobby.

‘Well, I don’t…’ stared Sheila.

‘Aw, c’mon sis! Hank, can we open it? Pleeeeeease?’

‘Maybe it has food inside,’ added Diana. The others looked at her doubtfully. ‘Well, you never know!’

‘I don’t care what’s inside!’ said Eric firmly. ‘It might have food, and that’s good enough for me!’

Presto saw Hank hesitate. Then he saw Bobby hefting the Club. Fortunately, so did Hank and he immediately stepped in to stop him.

‘Wait, Bobby! You can’t just smash everything you see!’

‘No?’ The Barbarian sounded crestfallen. ‘Aw, please, Hank! I’m hungry!’

‘It’s not a good idea, Bobby,’ said Hank. ‘Really. I don’t think it’s gonna be food.’

‘Maybe your just scared,’ murmured Eric. Presto knew Hank had heard him, but the Ranger was too restrained to make an issue out of it, especially since that was what the Cavalier so obviously wanted.

‘We still don’t really know what it is!’ said Presto.

‘Who cares!’ said Eric, now sounding bored. ‘I’m starving! Can we just DO something, please! Even if we do just roll it down the hill or use a can-opener on it!’ Eric looked across at Presto and pointed at the Hat. ‘I don’t suppose you have a can-opened in there too, do ya?’

The Magician didn’t bother to even look at his Hat, and just stared sullenly back at the Cavalier. The others were staring at the cylinder again. Diana had knelt down to get a closer look, and Bobby stood nearby, swinging his Club as if getting some practice in.

‘I suppose,’ said Sheila eventually, ‘it might be dangerous. I mean, it does look a little like a torpedo.’

Presto was vaguely insulted that his magic was screwy enough to conjure something so unlike dinner as a “torpedo”, but that comment made Eric snort with laughter and he looked back at the Magician with a sarcastic grin on his face.

‘Well, nothing from that Hat can ever be said to be safe!’ said Eric.

Presto couldn’t help scowling. But fortunately, Hank noticed his reaction.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ said the Ranger quickly. ‘Sheila’s right. It might be dangerous.’

That was like a red flag to a bull. The Cavalier planted his hands on his hips and regarded Hank with a cocky smile, almost challenging Hank to continue.

‘We should leave it,’ said the Ranger, glaring at Eric. Even Presto knew that we the wrong thing to say; he knew Eric very well and could see the easy opening for a come-back. It was surprising that Hank hadn’t!

‘We can’t,’ said Eric with bright malice.

‘What do you mean?’

‘It might be dangerous,’ mimicked Eric.

‘What are you talking about!’

‘We can’t just leave it lying around! You know, Venger? Tall, bat-wings, one horn, no dress-sense. Our Arch-Enemy… any of this ringing a bell with you?’

Hank scowled, caught unprepared at that statement. Eric had cornered him; if it was dangerous, they had to do something with it, if it was NOT dangerous Eric would certainly do what he liked with it.

‘It’s got a button!’ said Diana suddenly, pointing. Sure enough, near the tip of the nosecone there was a little indentation, and right in the middle of that was a small, red button.

‘Oooh!’ said Eric, kneeling down beside her. ‘Now we can get it open!’ As he reached out his hand, the others all took and instinctive step back. He looked round with a scornful sneer.

‘Oh, come on!’ he said contemptuously. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’

 

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Venger felt the tremor, even though he was some miles away.

Through the window beside him he could see out over the Realm. Far on the horizon, lit by the rays of the rising suns there was an unusually-shaped cloud that rose up out of the ground a long, long way away.

He frowned. There was no magic that he could sense. He had no idea what in the Realm could have caused such an explosion.

A few moments later, Dungeonmaster appeared by his side, looking out of the window as well. After waiting for a few moments to see what his opponent would do, he finally glanced down, determined to be calm in the presence of his diminutive enemy.

‘What do you want, Old Man? Why have you profaned my castle?’

Dungeonmaster looked sheepishly up at him, and held out a couple of small, round gold coins.

‘I concede,’ he said. ‘You win! This round, anyway!’

For a moment, confusion ruled, and Venger could hardly believe what he was hearing!

Dungeonmaster conceding! That was virtually unheard-of! This was the end of their game? How? There was no reason he could fathom, and it was unlikely that the Old man had just given up, especially when his shiny-new Pupils had done so well, so far!

But then, he was far too proud to ask for an explanation! He would have to wait to see what the Old Man said.

Dungeonmaster looked back to the growing cloud, and sighed.

‘It seems that I have lost again, and my pupils are gone.’

‘So it seems, Old Man,’ agreed Venger in a pleased tone, following the Old Man’s gaze out to the horizon.

‘The Weapons are gone too, alas,’ added Dungeonmaster. ‘There was nothing left. And they had been so promising, too.’

So the Weapons as well as the children were gone! It must have been powerful magic, or another intervention to get rid of them. But still, he had no cause to ask for information.

Dungeonmaster did not speak again, just looked glumly out over the Realm, perhaps contemplating his defeat. And Venger slowly smiled.  He’d won this round of their game; there were others still to play; more to lose, but more to gain! That the Weapons were gone was of only small consequence. True, they would have helped in his quest to overcome that dread Dragon-Queen, but there would be other ways, and other times and other players.

The Weapons were gone. But so were the kids.

His smile grew wider.

He could live with that!

 

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Fanfiction Masterlist

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