THE UNSEEN DVD EXTRA A DAY IN THE SHOOTING OF DUNGEONS & DRAGONS
-x-
For one day during the shooting of D&DC, a documentary team was allowed on set to film a day in the life for the hardworking cast and crew of the show. The resulting Behind The Scenes footage was added to the DVD as a cryptically hidden extra, never seen until now
-x-
4.30am
The day begins very early for one cast member. Hanks make-up call is at 4.30 every morning, as his hair takes three hours each day to style.
It used to be four, Hank laughs grimly into his coffee cup, but the guys here have managed to cut the backcombing down by an hour, which is a Godsend.
Still, its a very long day for Hank, and the first two hours of it are spent only in the company of his five hairdressers.
6.30am
Eric arrives, and is painstakingly riveted into his armour.
7am
Sheila, Bobby, Diana and Prestos make-up call. All are on time except for Sheila, who seems to have gone missing. Her PA is sent to look for her.
7.30am
Vengers make-up call. Venger arrives with a tray of breakfast muffins, pastries and fresh coffee, as is his daily ritual.
I always feel so sorry for those poor kids, chuckles the Arch-Mage, they all have to come in so early and since I dont need any make-up to look like this, I can just roll out of bed and straight onto set. This is my little way of making up for it.
The kids all seem to enjoy their breakfast, and Sheilas PA is finally able to persuade her to come out of her trailer with the promise of a freshly baked croissant.
She can be a bit of a Prima Donna at times, shrugs Venger, tucking into a Cinnamon Swirl, but Hell, cant we all be a bitch first thing in the morning?
8am
Meeting with the Director. The cast go over the scenes they are about to shoot that day and talk through any problems with the script.
Venger has concerns about an upcoming scene where he startles Eric, causing him to fall from a tree. He reminds the Director that Eric still has a badly bruised coxyx from a mistimed fall the previous week, and is concerned about the young actor further hurting himself.
There is no budget allocated for a stunt double in the scene in question, and padding would involve taking Eric out of his armour again, which would take another hour. Eric claims that he has no issue with the fall, but Venger insists, and the pratfall is changed to a panicked holler with additional flailing arms.
8.15am
Dungeon Master arrives for make-up, an hour late. However, since he is not scheduled on set for another two hours, this is not an issue.
They dont bother scheduling him for shoots early in the morning any more, Sheila tells the documentary crew, confidentially. Hes never able to work before noon anyway, if you know what I mean. She makes a quick Drinky-Drinky motion with her hand.
8.45am
On set, Bobby is united with Mojo, the Labrador that plays the part of Uni, and her trainer. Bobby is asked why, when baby Unicorns are so easy to come by, a dog has been given the role. The young actor explains.
Unicorns dont actually look like Unicorns on film. Its a pain, because Unicorns are actually much easier to train than dogs, but there you go. Best thing you can get to actually look like a genuine Unicorn on screen is a Labrador with a Styrofoam horn attached to its head. Tricks of the trade.
9am
Filming starts.
10am
There is a problem with the Boom. Filming is stopped temporarily while Technicians see to it. The problem seems to be fixed, and the cast are asked to test it for sound. It is still not working. After ten minutes of further tinkering, Sheila demands a break on grounds of exhaustion and heads back to her trailer. Her PA is sent to retrieve her yet again.
10.15am
The Boom is finally fixed. The order of shooting is rearranged slightly and filming recommences, covering shots that do not feature Sheila.
11am
Sheila returns to the set, and her scenes can finally be shot. These scenes include the one over which Venger had expressed earlier concern. Happily the altered scene works well, and is in the can after only two takes, much to the relief of cast and crew alike.
12 noon
The cast and crew break for lunch. The documentary crew take the chance to talk with Diana as she eats an extra large helping of triple pepperoni pizza.
I eat like a pig, she admits, probably a good thing that I have to do so much exercise in my role keeps the weight off although most of my stunts are wire work, these days. She is asked about the rumours surrounding her real age. Theyre not rumours, she smiles, Ive never made a secret of it. Im forty-two. Im just lucky, I guess, I still look young enough to pass for a High School kid. She shrugs, tucking into a litre of icecream. Go figure.
1pm
Shooting resumes. Dungeon Master is called to do his few scenes, after which he promptly heads off again without word to any of the other cast. There is a suggestion that the reason Dungeon Masters character would so often suddenly disappear on the show is that in reality, Dungeon Master didnt bother to stick around to finish the scene, or in some extreme cases, pass out behind a bush.
3.15pm
There is another hitch with the shoot Presto is having difficulties with a Hat Spell. It appears that one of Prestos main problems with the show is that while his character is a terrible magician, he himself is a highly proficient wizard.
Its so difficult making the spells go wrong, he sighs. The script calls for me to try to conjure a Laser Gun, but end up with a rubber chicken but all I keep pulling out is Laser Guns! These damn glasses dont help Ive got 20-20 vision. They just give me a headache.
3.20pm
As Presto receives a Pep Talk from the director and Venger, the other cast members take the opportunity to have their make-up and costume touched up. Hanks Hair Crew pull up the transit van full of his haircare products and set to work.
3.40pm
The documentary crew catch up with Eric as two metalworkers de-shine his breastplate with wire wool and blowtorches. He is asked if he is anything like his character, and takes some coaxing to reply.
Not really, the actor mumbles eventually. Ive always had real problems with shyness, actually. I only started acting as a way of overcoming it.
So why take on the role of such a mouthy, cocksure character?
Eric shrugs. Its a huge release for me to play that kind of character, he explains. Its very cathartic. Fun, I guess He trails off, mid sentence, and the documentary makers are unable to get much more out of him.
3.45pm
Presto finally manages to get the take right, and filming continues.
4.30pm
Towards the end of the shooting day, the documentary crew take some time to catch up with the supporting cast. Three Orcs are standing by in the canteen, waiting to be called. They have been waiting all day. They are asked if there are many other Orcs working on Dungeons & Dragons.
Only us, grunts one Orc. They just use the same three of us over and over again.
If theres meant to be more of us, we just file past the camera, walk round the back and file past again, explains a second.
They are asked if, despite that, they enjoy their work.
Its a living, shrugs the third Orc. Frankly, its difficult for our kind to get any other kind of work. Were always seen as the bad guys.
And do they think that their acting on Dungeons & Dragons reinforces that stereotype?
What are we supposed to do? cries the third Orc. Ive got three kids and a mortgage to pay off. I cant just turn down parts even if I do find them derogatory to my race.
I auditioned for Othello once, adds the first Orc. They laughed me off the stage.
5.30pm
Filming wraps up for the day. The cast head to the canteen for dinner, with the exception of Eric, who gratefully begins the process of being taken out of his armour.
Havent been able to use the bathroom all day, he explains.
7pm
While Hank heads back to his trailer for much needed beauty sleep and Bobby works on tomorrows scenes with Mojo and her trainer, the rest of the cast head over to the bar for some post-shoot drinks. Venger insists on buying a round for everybody.
Hes such a great guy, enthuses Sheila, seemingly in a far better mood than she was in earlier, hes like everybodys Uncle on set. Youd think he was really mean, but hes the sweetest guy you could hope to meet.'
9pm
Presto and Eric head off to their trailers, but for Venger and the girls the night has only just begun. Venger has been invited to the local Gay Club as a VIP, and has offered to escort the girls as his guests.
Dont wait up, boys! cries Diana, downing a Multiple Screaming Orgasm. And with that, they leave the bar.