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A Good Day For A Funeral
Thud. Thud, thud. Thud.
Eric remembered something about beer and a wake. And something about buying clothes. Then there had been some shouting, possibly even arguing. He wasn't totally sure what happened after that. But one thing he was sure about was that he was not going anywhere. Not today.
His head was still swimming, and he prayed that whatever was making the noise would stop. But the irregular thudding noise didn’t go away.
A few minutes was all he could take. He shouted something obscene, but that didn’t work either.
Thud. Thud, thud, thud.
Eric closed his eyes more tightly. Why couldn’t they take the hint and just go away? He wasn’t going anywhere today.
Thud. Thud, thud, thud. Thud. Thud. Thud, thud. Thud.
It wasn’t working. He was going to have to get up and tell them to go away personally. So, after a number of minutes mental preparation, he levered himself off the floor and across to the door, now identified as the source of the thumping.
Diana was standing there glaring at him, one hand on her hip, looking so pretty in her black dress. He should have expected her. Slowly, she looked down over his tatty old t-shirt and boxers, down over his legs to his naked feet on the wooden floor, and then back up to his face. Her expression remained fixed.
‘So,’ she said, ‘you’re not coming?’
‘Naah.’ It came out more slurred than he wanted it to and Diana glared all the more. He tried again. ‘No. I’m not going anywhere today.’
‘You do remember which day it is today? Don’t you?’
He didn’t dignify that with an answer. Instead, he turned around and made his way back into the room, flopping down on one of the seats by the empty fireplace. A wave of nausea passed through him, and he suppressed a shudder.
Diana followed him.
‘Look, Eric,’ she said. ‘He was supposed to have been your best friend. Doesn’t that mean anything?’
‘No.’
She looked disbelievingly at him, and Eric looked back at her, still thinking how pretty in real clothes. He wondered where she’d found a black dress in this dreary little town.
‘It doesn’t mean anything to you?’ she said. ‘Really?’
‘Really. He was my best friend a long time ago.’
The was a short silence and the weight of the words settled in the room, making it seem all the colder.
‘He was your friend, Eric. And now he’s dead. Going to the funeral would seem to be the very least you could do.’
‘I don’t go to funerals. Least of all funerals of people that I’d stopped speaking to.’
Diana gave him a surprisingly cold, appraising stare. Even more surprising was the fact that her coldness actually hurt his feelings.
‘I’m sorry, Eric,’ she said with a brittle snap to her tone, ‘I’d mistaken you for someone who had actually managed to grow up.’ She narrowed her eyes and stared to turn away. ‘My mistake!’
‘Hey!’ He heard the voice, but wasn’t sure that he’d spoken. The room was still unfocused, and he still felt like he was going to throw up any minute, and there seemed to be a distinct time-lag between his thoughts and his actions.
Diana turned back, her expression unchanged. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. But he liked the thought of her walking out on him even less. She raised her eyebrows slightly, and waited.
‘Why should I go?’ he asked her. ‘Why should I make the effort for him now he’s dead when he never bothered when he was alive?’
‘You think he didn’t care?’
‘He turned his back on us,’ said Eric. ‘He turned his back on all of us!’
‘You know that’s not true.’
‘It feels damn well true to me,’ he said. ‘Where was he when we needed him, Diana? Where was he when Venger attacked us? Where was he went Uni was killed?’ He hesitated then leaned forward. ‘Where was he when we needed him?’
But the words that came out were not the ones that Eric was thinking. Where was Presto when I needed him… the day his confidence and security and his whole life had come crashing down about his ears. The day the opportunity to get home had come so very close, but he turned it down. Because he couldn’t go back without Presto.
‘He was with Varla,’ Diana said firmly. Eric scowled at her.
‘You don’t have to take so much pleasure in saying it, do you?’
‘It’s the truth. And we all supported him at the time.’
‘I didn’t.’
‘You told him you did.’
‘I know,’ muttered Eric, his anger fading to embarrassment. He had thought it would be ok. He had thought it would be easy to go back home, even with one missing. He didn't think it would be his problem.
‘You chose to stay, just like the rest of us.’
Eric snorted.
‘Maybe,’ continued Diana, ‘if you had just told him, or talked to him, then maybe you would be acting like such a jerk now!’
‘I’m not acting like a jerk…’
‘Just because you have never loved anyone…’
‘That has nothing to do with it,’ he snapped. ‘Nothing at all!’
Hank had Sheila. Bobby had Terri. Diana had Kosar. And Presto had fallen for Varla and decided to stay with her. Friendship and loyalty seemed to melt away when it came to love.
Eric had seen, first hand, how Presto had loved Varla. He’d been there as the Magician had literally swept the girl off her feet. It seemed impossible, that Presto could sweep anyone off their feet.
A sneer crept on to Diana’s face.
‘No, that isn’t true. You do love someone. Yourself.’
Eric still flinched at the old, old insult. There had been a time when he had barely even reacted. He took a long slow breath looking at her, and her dress, thinking how strange the day was turning out to be.
‘You’re being very insulting today,’ he said at last, in a calm, controlled voice. ‘But if you have to resort to that old one, then you must have run out or anything better!’
Diana just shrugged, and put her hands back on her hips, perhaps trying to distract him. Suddenly, he was sick of the whole conversation. He wanted her to just go away.
‘You just don’t understand, do you?’ he said with a sigh. ‘
‘Try me!’ she said, stepping up to him, a new, interested look on her face.
Maybe he should just go ahead and tell her. Maybe if he did, she would just leave him alone. Maybe that would work. And f she laughed in his face, as he knew she would, then he hadn’t lost anything. In fact, he would gain, as she would undoubtedly leave him to sulk in peace.
He gave her a thin smile.
‘How could I go home, Diana? How could I go home without him, and have to stand there, in front of his Dad and explain that he was never coming home.’
Diana was staring at him. That just made his angrier.
‘I wanted to go home so,’ Eric found himself saying. ‘I wanted it so much. I still do. But I can’t. I can’t go home and have to face that poor, broken man and tell him that his only child isn’t coming back with me!’
Diana was frowning; half amused, half disbelieving.
‘You know what his old man was like!’ said Eric. ‘Jeez! The old guy was so protective! The only reason he allowed him out was because I was going, and I had a limo to take me there and back. You heard what he said.’
Such a small thing, the tiniest moment, the most insignificant of events. He had barely even been paying attention to Presto’s Dad as he spoke.
‘If you’re late, don’t take the bus back, Presto. I expect you home with Eric.’
And Eric had nodded, without thinking, his mind filled with ideas about how he was gonna blow all his allowance on the rides and the cotton candy.
It was only later, after they arrived in the Realm, that the words had taken on any significance. It seemed like Presto’s Dad had known something was going to happen. And he looked to him, Eric, to make sure Presto was alright. He’d pretty well ignored the thought; after all, Hank was there to make sure everyone was safe.
But after Varla, that had changed.
I expect you home with Eric.
Eric had realised what that meant. It wouldn’t be Hank that Presto’s Dad expected answers from.
It was him.
‘I didn’t take it that seriously at the time,’ Eric said quietly, ‘but I couldn’t go back without him. Presto was all he had left.’
Diana stared at him, with a look that made Eric turn red. Before he could step away, she had moved forward to bring him close in a hug. She smelled warm, and familiar and comforting. Eric held her for a long time and she made no attempt to move away.
At last, Diana let her arms fall away from his shoulders and she stepped back to be able to look him in the eye.
‘That’s all the more reason to say goodbye properly,’ said Diana. ‘Sometime, maybe, we will decided to leave the Realm. Wouldn’t it be better to be able to look Presto’s Dad in the face, and know you saw it all the way through to the end?’
She was right. He knew she was right. Worse, She knew he knew she was right.
But it was still along time before he was able to nod.
Diana smiled at him. And somehow, that made it all seem a little bit easier.