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All Fall Down
Hank awoke with a start to the sound of soft sobbing.
Confused, he looked round, seeing the familiar surroundings of their room Cloudbear City where King Kamala had let them stay.
Immediately, the Ranger’s eyes were drawn to where Bobby was sleeping, the Unicorn tuck under his arm. The thick, red welts round the young boy’s wrists were so much clearer in the moonlight, and Hank couldn’t suppress a shudder. Of course the Barbarian would be crying, after all he’d been through it was only to be expected.
Suddenly Hank checked himself as he heard the low sob again: Bobby wasn’t crying.
Hank looked round the small room, suddenly worried. He could see Bobby, and he could see Presto, lying on his front with a frown on his face, snoring away happily.
But Eric wasn’t there. Eric must be the one who was crying.
For a moment, Hank thought that he was wrong; Eric just wasn’t the type to cry. True he was a big child that whined and bitched and generally made everyone’s life unpleasant, but that was as far as Eric could go, perception-wise. He didn’t have the emotional maturity to understand the impact of something like this. Did he?
What if he did?
What if he understood how Hank felt, and the terrible feeling of guilt he was still haunted with? It was unlikely, but not totally impossible.
But that still didn’t explain the crying.
Hank suddenly scowled. That was just typical of the self-centred Cavalier! It was bad enough that Hank had to help Sheila and Bobby through this painful process, as well as himself, he didn’t want to nursemaid Eric through it as well. All the Cavalier would want was to be the centre of attention as usual. And Hank couldn’t cope with that at the moment.
Throwing back the covers, Hank pushed himself up off his wooden bed and stalked to the door, yanking it open with too much force.
‘Wh…’ he started, but the rest of the harsh words died on his lips, when he saw the Cavalier.
It was clear that Hank was the very last thing in the universe that Eric wanted to see at that moment. Curled up against one of the partitions, with his head in his hands, Eric looked terrified. His red-rimmed eyes, though filled with surprise, were also full of shame.
He looked back at Hank in unqualified horror and turned a violent shade of red. His mouth moved, but he was unable to speak.
They stared at each other, and for once Hank couldn’t think of anything to say. What he wanted to do at that moment was turn back and go inside, away from the Cavalier and pretend he hadn’t seen or heard anything. That was clearly what Eric wanted as well, but for all their enmity, Hank felt that he couldn’t turn away from someone who was so clearly in need of reassurance.
Instead, after a long moment’s hesitation he sat down next to Eric, but at a slight angle, not looking straight at the other boy. Eric made no moved to leave.
They sat like that for a few minutes in silence, the only noise being the occasional sniff from Eric. At last the Cavalier spoke.
‘I didn’t mean to wake you up,’ he said in a low tone. ‘Sorry ‘bout that.’
‘I wasn’t sleeping very well anyway,’ admitted Hank. ‘I think I was having bad dreams. Can’t really remember.’
‘Hmm,’ replied Eric noncommittally, though he was probably thinking something else, Hank was grateful for his tact at the moment, even though it probably wasn’t going to last.
‘So what’s wrong?’ asked Hank, still not turning round to look at Eric.
There was a deep sigh.
‘I wanna go home,’ Eric replied.
The simplistic childishness of the admission took Hank by surprise once more. He’d never expected Eric, of all people, to admit something like that.
‘You and me both,’ said Hank lightly.
There was another silence, and Hank grew uneasy. There was something else bothering Eric. For a few minutes, Hank hoped Eric would just speak up and say something, but he eventually realised that the Cavalier had no intention of talking without a bit of prompting.
‘There’s something else,’ Hank stated.
In the fractional pause that followed, Hank knew he was right in his assumption.
‘Well y’know me, I’m not that…’ started Eric.
‘There is. What is it?’
Beside him, Hank felt Eric straighten slightly, as if he was just going to get up and walk off.
‘Hank, I don’t want to talk about it. Not tonight, and not to you.’
‘It’s about what happened, with Bobby and Venger, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. No. Not really. It’s…’ Eric sighed. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
Hank frowned, annoyance starting to grow inside him. Why wouldn’t the Cavalier just cooperate and be done with it? Why did he always have to be so awkward?
‘What’s wrong?’
‘No, I can’t tell you.’
‘C’mon, what is wrong?’ insisted Hank.
‘You’re gonna think I’m being a jerk,’ said Eric with a loud sniff. ‘I’ll telling you that much.’
‘You’ve gone this far,’ said Hank, finally turning to look the Cavalier directly in the eye. Eric’s expression was as blank as he could get it to be, and he stared back at Hank. ‘Tell me.’
There was a slight, significant pause before Eric spoke.
‘It’s just, it’s gonna happen to me and I don’t know what, or how I’ll…’ Eric ground to a halt. He put his hand over his eyes. Hank waited.
‘What I mean…’ said Eric, with forced calmness, ‘…what I mean is that what you did, what you went through, how you came back even though we all thought you’d, well, you had betrayed us. I don’t think I could. I’m not…’
Again, Eric ground to a halt. Again Hank didn’t interrupt, and not just because he wanted Eric to continue. He had never guess that Eric would worry about something like that. It was a side to Eric that he hadn’t expected.
‘The longer we stay here, the more dangerous it gets,’ said Eric. ‘And one of these days, I’m gonna be the one running through the woods with no friends and no where to go but crawling back to Venger. And I’m gonna fail. I’d never have the strength or the nerve to do what you did. If it had been me captured instead of you, we’d all be in the Slave Mines by now, with no way home, ever, ever again.’
There was silence. Eric looked at Hank, his eyes filled with tears, but Hank was so taken by surprise at the depth of the admission that he couldn’t find the right reply fast enough. Eric suddenly scowled.
‘You happy now? I told you you’d think I was being a jerk!’
Hank shook his head, as a loss as to how to reply.
‘Great!’ snapped Eric. ‘You’re not happy! Well, I did warn you!’
He made as if to stand, and was quicker than Hank gave him credit for, as he was halfway up before Hank managed to grab his arm.
‘I understand,’ Hank blurted out. ‘It’s ok.’
Eric still stared at him.
‘I’m not mad at you,’ said Hank. ‘It’s ok. It’s just I didn’t expect you to feel like that, that’s all.’
For a moment a classically Cavalier-like superior sneer flitted across Eric’s face, but then he looked away and lowered himself back down.
Again, there was silence as Hank tried to find a reply that he thought might help. Finally, he decided he would have to admit that he didn’t know what to say.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ he said. ‘I wish I could help but…’
‘I don’t expect you to solve all my problems,’ snapped Eric. ‘I’m not a total loss!’ Hank gave him an incredulous look, which Eric fortunately let pass without comment. ‘Besides, there’s nothing much you can do. It’s not your fault that I’m a… a…’
The Cavalier stalled at the final word, his face growing more serious.
‘There are just a few things I’ve gotta figure out, by myself,’ he said.
Hank nodded, and Eric again pushed himself up. But as he rose, Eric put a hand on Hank’s shoulder.
‘I said sorry for calling you a traitor,’ Eric said. ‘But I should have said thank you as well. Thanks for being a good leader and not turning you back on us.’
It seemed to be Hank’s night for being at a loss for words, as he wanted to tell Eric just how close he’d come to failing and the crushing feeling of remorse he felt every time he looked at Bobby or Sheila, but he couldn’t find quite the right words to express himself.
Instead, he let the Cavalier walk off back to the room with their sleeping friends without saying a word.
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Fanfiction Masterlist
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